How to speak and write postmodern. Itanong na lang natin kay Queaño Reeves.

And David Foster Wallace shows us how to write a postmodern breakup letter, 67 pages with footnotes, and subheadings about "Why We Could Never Grow Old Together," "Ways It—Us, The World, And Everything—Has All Changed," and "Things I've Never Told You (That Will Certainly Change Your Mind About Me)." His girlfriend stopped reading at page 20 and put the whole bunch in her bureau drawer.

Mine would have sections on "Things I thought about while tailing you through Aisles 14-17," "How You Ruined All My Favorite Movies with Renee Zellwegger in it," "Hate is Penelope Cruz," and "How you're really such a bitch and you would never ever admit it until you die." And oh, "Banished From the Catwalk: Music from the Post Relationship Denial Soundtrack." The footnotes will come in a separate volume.