I am feeling a bit grubby at work. Last Monday, I met up with some of my friends whose sole basis of our relationship is the fact that we are all writers and always working for some rackets on the side. I updated them about some opening I know in Manila which they might be interested in because we worked on a project withe company a year ago. The pay was good and there is hardly work. The reason why I kind of feel grubby is because just when I was starting to feel comfortable with my current job, I suddenly feel that maybe I shouldn't get too comfortable just yet. Actually, things can't get any better. My workaholic boss is starting to grow on me
(and she actually gave me a big hug this morning because we were able to finish the brochures the President was suppose to bring abroad. Freaky experience, I tell you.) What I just don't like about work is I still do not get along with my editor and I spend most of working week playing hide-and-seek with her.



Other advantages of my job:

0. My status is already permanent. There is no way in the world they can make me leave this job unless I choose too.

1. I don't mind the low salary because my only expense is fare and my lunch.

2. I only paid P66 for my tuition fee this sem and I don't have to commute from work to class.

3. I get to be an active member of Teatrong Mulat (and I am going on leave for two freaking weeks!!!)

4. It is my job to know what is going on in the campus, so that means I know what is showing at the UP Film Center and when.

5. I am actually learning some things.

So, what is making me discontented? Because some of the advantages of the job really makes it worth sticking to. Imagine twenty years from now, my own kid will be paying only less than a hundred peso if I stick to this job. At this age, I shouldn't even be thinking of job security. I should be out there learning new stuff, meeting new people, going places. But I feel that if I stick to my job long enough, I might not want to leave it anymore and it scares me. I have always wanted to work for UP because I believe in the giving back thing but I never imagined it to be this early in my non-existent career.

Some days ago, I was calculating how long it will take till I finish my MA. Maybe that would also determine the length I will be staying in my job.Maybe after that I would be able to fulfill my life-long dream of teaching in UP Mindanao. I don't know. It's like having mid-mid-life crisis all over again. What is it with the months of June and July?

Looking at my options, I realized that going back to Creative Writing is my shortest route but the department really turns me off. On the other hand, there is no other school that teaches children's literature and in the grand scheme of things, that's the only thing i really want to do.

Sometimes, I think I am too greedy. I just want to try out all the jobs available out there all at the same time. and it's hard when you have an eight to five job.

Ah, ewan ko. Minsan iniisip ko na baka there is something talaga with the month of June and July. Low points talaga in my life. Baka pagbalik ko mula Thailand, better na ang outlook ko sa buhay. Then again, maybe not.